Athens County Children Services P.O. Box 1046 Athens, Ohio 45701 Ph : (740)592-3061 Fax: (740)593-3880

Awareness and education play an important role in preventing child abuse and neglect. We work to keep the community informed through the news media, our website, various publications, and by organized involvement in community events.

Summer Parenting Tips

With summertime approaching, many parents anticipate more relaxed schedules, family get-togethers, and time to catch up. Yes, summertime happens, but then reality hits. Kids complain of constant boredom – not enough to do, not enough friends to hang out with, etc, . Yes, summertime, with all its wonder, also brings parents one of the most unique challenges – keeping their children entertained.

Every parent dreads to hear, “I’m bored, there’s nothing to do.” However, there are some things you can do to keep from hearing this constant song…or at least hear it less:

GET MESSY – Young children need sensory play. Go outside and play in the dirt, sand or try water play. Bring a shallow container outside and put a small amount of child-safe squishy materials like beans, gravel, shaving foam or gel, baby lotion, or birdseed. They’ll enjoy experiencing the different textures, and you’ll enjoy the smiles and laughs that it creates.

TAKE A WALK – Children love special places and look forward to favorite routines. Pick out a favorite tree, bush, or flower. Let you child make up a name for this special spot and visit it regularly during the warm months. You can also start a nature collection and pick up leaves, rock, or twigs on your walks.

MAKE A SALAD TOGETHER – Prepare a salad with your child letting him or her cut (with a plastic knife, of course) or tear your favorite vegetables or fruits. Salads are wonderful creations where a little too much or a too little of any ingredient won’t matter. And, why not enhance this experience by packing the salad and making time for a picnic at your special spot?

MAKE A BOOK – Children also love to create. Make or take pictures of your summer vacation. Let you child glue the pictures on paper, punch a few holes, and tie it together with some yarn. Have your child tell you about the picture and caption her words below. Take the book and a few other favorite items and sit under a shady tree and read it together.

TEACH THE IMPORTANCE OF SERVING OTHERS - All children can benefit by learning the value of serving others. Visit a nursing home as a family and pass out cookies, sing, or just visit. Have your child volunteer at a local soup kitchen or as a candy striper in the hospital or mow an elderly neighbor’s yard for free.

TEACH THE IMPORTANCE OF THE DOLLAR AND THE VALUE OF HARD WORK – With summer, children have more time to spend money, but it most cases, there never seems to be enough money to go with the time. First, establish what you will pay for and what the child must pay for. Encourage them to do extra jobs around the house to earn extra money or find a part-time summer job if they’re old enough.

ENCOURAGE CREATIVITY – Introduce your child to new ways of creativity. Help him or her check out a local pottery studio or art exhibit. Learn to play an instrument or start a journal. Creativity not only creates an outlet for the frustrations of “boredom,” but also teaches critical thinking and problem solving skills.

As you can see, there are many ways to keep your children occupied while teaching them valuable life skills at the same time – not to mention the great memories to be created. Don’t let your summer fly by.

Communicating with Teenagers

Teenagers are a large segment of the population served by child welfare agencies and Athens County Children Services is no different. Some of the teenagers we serve live in group care facilities, with foster families, or in independent living programs.

As a parent of a teenager, it is easy for me to understand the challenge and joy they can be. Certain basic understandings are helpful for parents and other adult authority figures responsible for teenagers. The following tips are useful for adults who are working to develop healthy, stable relationships with teens.

Teenagers deserve respect, and adults should give respect and expect it from them. This includes a show of respect for their friends. Never berate or belittle teens in front of their peers.

The boasting and attitude displayed by some teens can be a cover-up for insecurity. That adolescent boy or girl with the know-it-all attitude may be unsure of himself or herself and in search of your guidance.

One of the biggest problems during adolescence is the power struggle that develops between teens and adults. Recognize it for what it is - the result of teens wanting to feel powerful in an adult world - and find ways of working through it together.

Teens are adults in training, and they need room to breathe and learn the trade. It's up to the adult to balance freedom and independence with good judgment about when to step in.

When it comes to clothes and fads, teens can amaze us with their attempts to fit in and be accepted by their peers. While it is necessary to set standards, it is also important to refrain from making fun of a teenager's clothes or appearance, since painful put-downs can leave deep scars.

Finally, communicate, communicate, communicate. Make a point to talk with teens even when there's not a problem. Conversations with teens can be refreshing and insightful, and they should be a part of each day. Most take place in the presence of other people, so find occasions to talk with your teen alone, away from brother, sister and anyone else. And make sure you listen carefully to what is being said as well as what is not. Effective communication is, after all, the key to healthy relationships.

If you feel you are up for the challenge of raising a teenager, please contact Athens County Children Services, (740) 592-3061. I strongly urge you to consider adopting or foster parenting a teenager, they have waited long enough.

Single Parenting Tips

As a single parent, do you worry because your children’s father or mother isn’t involved? Do you worry because your kids aren’t being raised in a so-called traditional family? Stop worrying, you will be fine and you are not alone.

Today, single parents make up 52% of the families in the United States. Some single parents are divorced, some were never married, some are widowed and some are single parents who have adopted. Whatever the reasons or circumstances that led you to become a single parent, right now is the life you have. Embrace it and make the most of it. Life is too short to worry about things you cannot control.

Being patient with your children can sometimes be difficult. Too little money, too much to do, not enough time, all generate stress. Stressors are all around, especially when you are going it alone. However, don't take it out on the kids. They are easy targets because the balance of power favors you. If you feel yourself becoming stressed, lock yourself in the bathroom until you get it together. Count to ten before you react. Do whatever works to show your kids they aren’t the targets of your frustration. If you still feel like you need a little help, contact the Nelsonville Family Info Center at (740) 753-4100. The Center holds weekly support groups for parents while the children participate in supervised playgroups at the same time, giving you the break you may need.

Try to keep your sense of humor. Having a sense of humor definitely makes all the stress more manageable and puts things in perspective. Keeping a sense of humor is easier on your psyche and models good coping skills to your children. Along with humor, try to let the little things go. Are your children clean? Well-fed? Loved? Receiving an education? Then you’re doing your job. If the house is messy, the leaves not raked, who cares?

Remember, life can often get overwhelming. Seeking help does not mean you’re weak or needy, it means you’re smart! Don’t let lack of money prevent you from seeking help if you feel you or your children need some type of assistance. There are programs to help you pay your heat and water bills. Each state has free or low cost health insurance for your kids, food stamps, free immunizations and other programs. Also, don’t assume that you are over the income levels for these programs. For instance, the Women, Infants, and Children’s Program (WIC) has a fairly high-income standard. Athens County Children Services website contains a community resource guide listing contact information and descriptions for most Southeast Ohio services.

Finally, congratulations to you! Look at everything you are handling. You are raising children, running a household, working outside the house and handling a thousand other things. You are holding it all together. Many of you are doing this without any child support or help from an ex-partner. Single parenting is difficult. You have a lot to feel proud.

Building Your Child's Self-Esteem

Self-esteem, a person’s sense of worth, is important for success. When children feel confident and secure, they’re more likely to succeed in school and achieve personal goals. As they get older, they learn to confront problems and resist peer pressure. More important, having a positive self-image helps a child feel happy and capable of maintaining personal relationships.

Building children’s self-esteem is an ongoing part of parenting. Letting children do things for themselves helps them acquire needed skills. When parents respect their children, the children learn to respect themselves. And when parents show affection, kids learn how to share their feelings with others.

Parents’ actions influence the way children feel about themselves. When a parent holds a child, the child can feel how important he or she is. Parents who can’t be with their kids on a daily basis can call them, write them notes or send e-mails. Parents should talk to their kids, listen to what they have to say and show them that their opinions count.

Children need their parents’ unconditional love and support. The love of a parent should not depend on the good behavior of a child. Even as they set limits and enforce discipline, parents should reassure their kids that they love them. Withholding love from kids when they misbehave will make them feel bad about themselves. Parents sometimes tell a misbehaving child, “You’re a bad boy (or girl)!” This tells the child that he or she is bad, not the behavior. Instead, parents should explain to the child what he or she did was wrong and then impose a consequence. For example, if the child hit someone, explain that hitting hurts and remove the child from the room.

Praising children when they behave well makes them feel good and motivates them to continue the good behavior—a win-win situation for parents and children! Parents should praise kids’ efforts and their successes. If a child’s team loses a game, for example, a parent could say, “You tried hard. You should feel proud of yourself!”

Some people worry that praising kids too much will spoil them. Yet as a child’s self-esteem grows, so does his or her sense of responsibility and competence. Assigning chores and praising accomplishments makes children feel valued. Their self-confidence and independence grow, and their increasing sense of security helps them confront the many challenges that are a natural part of growing up.

Studies show that children who feel confident are better able to stand up to bullies. Parents should give kids the tools they need to stand up for themselves and help them learn to solve problems. As they get older, they will be able to handle difficult situations on their own.

The way parents interact with their children influences the type of people they become. Nurturing parents who share their love help increase their children’s sense of self-worth. Kids learn to feel good about themselves and to care about others. When parents build their children’s self-esteem, a foundation for a strong, loving relationship is laid.